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DetachableWings
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Name: Rachel
Location: Tennessee, United States
Birthday: 6/9/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: Writing, art, singing, dancing, acting, theatre, animals, nature, travel, fashion, roleplay, anime, world domination, etc. Just ask.
Expertise: ^.~
No, seriously. I guess I'd say my expertise is writing, but you might ought to get a second opinion on that.
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  DetachableWings
MSN: stallion_dancer@hotmail.com
Member Since:
10/28/2005
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| For today.... Not a fan of:
- Failing at drawing my comic
- Headaches
- Dizzy spells
- Shakes
- Assigned parodies
- The Dutch Fan of:
- Sleep
- Modest Mouse (good driving music)
- College fairs Comments for the past week:
- Stardust. You should see it.
- College recruiters need to be able to present themselves better.
- Dear English Teacher, please write down grade before giving it back so I can lose it. Love, Rachel. Accomplishments for this week:
- Didn't rip her head off.
- Didn't rip her head off again.
- Still didn't rip her head off.
- Aced history report.
- Started comic. That is all. This message will now self destruct. | | |
| I think I'm becoming a groupie. What the mess? Anywho, I went to another Stevenson gig last night up in Kingsport (wonder why they never play close to home?) which was an absolute blast. My dad came in from Knoxvegas to drive me up and have a listen, and he really enjoyed it, seemed very impressed really. I know I was. This one was, I must say, better than the Elizibethton gig. Could be the comfy couch or funky Beatles-inspired paintings talking, but the acoustics were better, Logan even sang a few songs by himself and sounded wonderful. Really I was very proud of him. After the first two, he didn't even sound terrified. Not a whole lot else to report. Still haven't uploaded the picture, I know, but I'll get it. Sometime... Oh, and Logan, keep me posted on your next booking, okay? Thanks. | | |
| I'm actually doing pretty well right now. I went to see Stevenson's gig last night in Elizabethton, town of condemned buildings. It was awesome. I was way impressed. I mean, I knew Logan and his dad were good, but dang-ditty-dang-dang. I'm looking way forward to next Saturday. I meant to tip, but they didn't even bother to put out a jar, so I wasn't sure what to do. In other news, slightly relative to the gig, my camera sucks. The battery died so quickly I only got one picture of Stevenson before it locked down on me. Which may have been just as well, since I had spent the entire day feeling like I was on a Swing-a-majig, which, if you don't know, is one of those carnival rides with the swings on unnervingly long chains that slings you around like an abused yoyo. In simpler terms, I was about dizzy enough to fall over while walking to the car. Of course, I couldn't let my folks know that, or they wouldn't have let me go, and I didn't tell Logan, because he would fuss and worry and I didn't want him to do that. Anyway, I didn't fall, so I'm dandy. Other dizzy topics include a drunk lady who got up and started dancing with Logan. Pretty darn funny. Too bad I didn't get a picture. Oh, and the specialist I had to go see says my fainting spells might be caused by spontanious drops in my blood pressure and they might just be able to fix it. Hooray!!! After a lot more tests... ew... Anywho, I'll post some more later, including that one pic I got. | | |
| No sense lying to myself about it anymore, there's something wrong with me. It isn't natural to feel and think like this all the time. I'm a marvelous pretender. I can smile, laugh, and joke with finest but it's the greatest fakery I think I've ever put on. Anytime someone asks how I am I feel like screaming and crying, beating the ground until I'm too tired to feel anything, and it's not just after something bad has happened (though there's been an excess of that lately) but all the time, even when I should be having a good day. Everything that I enjoy has begun to be less and less fun for me until I just don't even want to try to entertain myself because I know it'll flop. I can't write anything, none of my games can hold my attention, and now I'm even having second thoughts about prom. Been so excited about this for a while now, and all of the sudden I don't even want to go. Went to State Choral Festival today and I have never felt so excluded and detached in my life. Somehow it felt like I was watching everyone else go by and have fun, but like there wasn't a place for me in there anymore. "Third wheel" syndrome, or like I wasn't even really there at all. Now I'm scared prom's going to be the same way. What's the point in getting all prettied up if people are just going to look right through you? People seem to be drifting off already, I can't imagine what it'll be like after graduation. Everyone's going to disappear and I'll be the only one left there clinging to every severed connection I made in those four years. I wish I could talk to someone about this, but it feels like I'm digging for pity or making this up. Like I'm upset over little, stupid things, which maybe I am, but it doesn't stop me from feeling like I want to just sleep until life gets better. I want someone to help me, but I've always been awful about asking for it. Besides, they're drifting and probably have others who need them more than I do. I really just wish I could make myself stop faking. I think I'm tired of having people fooled. Maybe even tired of having convinced them I'm okay, or it's okay, or "no, no, that's all done now." Ha... the more I read back on all these entries, I can see myself getting messed up. Just wish I knew what to do to counter it. | | |
| Out of school today because my temperature spiked up to 103 and I blacked out and woke up on the floor. Doc says I havea virus, that it should be better in a day or two. Feel pretty good right now, but last night I could have sworn I would be dead before they got me to the hospital. All they did at the doc's was prod at me a little, stick my finger, and tell me to lie around and drink lots of water. Blah blah. I'm not entirely coherant. Sorry. Gonna go now, ta. | | |
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